Sensing Victory


 In college Jacob’s favorite class is creative writing..This is one of his compositions he wrote that I wanted to share.

Jacob Avendano
Fall Term 2012                                                             


                                                               Sensing Victory             

     “Hit the
ground!” I shouted as I dove headfirst onto the grass in my front yard.
My brother, Caleb, hid himself on the ground a few feet behind me. As I
lay slightly covered by a low growing bush, I for the first time that
afternoon noticed how hot it was. I rolled over on my side and my eyes
took in the view I had from my position on the ground: to my right lay
an open front yard with freshly cut green grass, a few flowers, and a
Hummer parked in the driveway. The only movement seemed to be the
American flag that moved almost unnoticeably with the breeze. 

     Looking down the barrel of
my gun, I turned my attention to the side of the house nearest me. I
figured the grassy pathway leading to the backyard would be where the
enemy planned to advance. I strained to hear any human noises coming
from the backyard but all I could hear were birds chirping in a
neighbor’s yard. 

     A strange smell wafted my
direction and for a moment I feared the enemy was concocting some sort
of chemical compound to launch my direction. Then I noticed my neighbor
taking a bag of trash out to his garbage can on the street. I waved with
one hand and resumed my tensed position.

     My hands became tired so I
loosened my grip on my gun. The rubber grips kept my hands firmly
connected, which would be important should I need to whip around and
take a shot.

my head to one side, I spat out a wad of grass I received when I
instinctively hit the ground earlier. My brother snickered behind me and
tossed a small pebble at my head. Had I not been scanning the premises
for the enemy, I would have tossed something in return.

     Suddenly I noticed some
movement coming from the back of the house where my mother had planted
her raised garden beds. My insides jumped with adrenaline as I realized
this was what we had been waiting for. I could hear my brother crawling
up beside me as we braced ourselves for combat. 

     A twig that snapped over
my head from a well aimed shot gave us a split second to react. As I
jumped to my feet and ran to take cover behind the fence, my brother
sprinted around the other side of the house and disappeared. I peeked
through an eye-hole in the worn wooden fence and saw a masked head
looking at me from the corner of the house. I could have taken my shot,
but I waited for him to make the first move.

     Suddenly a war hoop and repeated gunshots broke the silence.
The enemy, being outflanked, turned on his heel and charged straight at
me. In one fluid movement I stepped out, leveled my gun and put a shot
squarely between his eyes. A look of shock flashed over his features his
knees bent and he fell to the ground in a heap. 

     I didn’t move an inch. I
stayed with my handgun trained on the body lying just in front of me.
The enemy had dropped his fully automatic AK-47 and it now lay in a
ditch that was halfway full of water. His crumpled dirty shirt showed
evidence that he had been crawling along on the ground prior to being
flushed out from his hiding spot. Finally sensing there was no more
fight left in him, I lowered my gun and spinning on my heel, returned to
the front yard.

     There was something so
apparent about the victory that I could almost taste it. So strong it
seemed to take away the remaining taste of grass that lingered in my

     The flag that
had been hanging practically limp before was now gallantly flowing in
the wind. The grass seemed greener, the sky clearer and the sun
brighter. I could almost hear the faint notes of patriotic music in the
background if I cupped my ears and listened hard. 

     I heaved a sigh as Caleb ran up and met my gaze. He seemed
intent on saying something because his face was red and he appeared
excited, but I held my hand up to silence him. 

With emotion and pride lingering in my voice, I spoke.

“We did it! Great job working as a team,” I said reaching for a handshake.

that’s when it happened. A faint click from the backyard exploded my
reverie and a sharp pain seared through the back of my head that knocked
me to my knees. Caleb bolted for cover back on the side of the house
where he had come from. The victory I had been savoring only moments
earlier had once again been replaced with the sour taste of grass in my
mouth as I crumbled face first to the ground.

     Soft footsteps came up behind me and an arm that was clothed
with the opposing forces markings lifted my arm and reached for my gun. 

   It was then that a realization struck me so suddenly and hard that
it stuck into my side like an arrow. 

“The enemy called for back up.
Blast it.”

     I flopped over on my back
to wait until the remaining Air Soft battle would come to an end,
promising to myself that next time it would be different. I would make
sure every one from the opposing team had been taken care of before I
was swallowed up in victory and got distracted. 

     But the strange thing was, I could still hear patriotic music playing in the background.




  1. March 15, 2013 / 4:11 pm

    Ahahahaha…I REMEMEBER the days of air soft guns at my church…it was the cause of the police coming to the main hotel of the confernece to try and arrest my older brother and our pastor's son!!! LOL!

  2. March 21, 2013 / 9:21 pm

    Oh my, that is too funny!!

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